Saturday, February 6, 2010

Why Vlogging everyday is hard

Currently I am doing regular everyday vlogs...sit at the computer and talk to a webcam. This is becoming increasingly more difficult as time goes on. I will sit there with no idea what I want to do for a vlog. I have plenty of ideas, but I can't do them because I am stuck at a computer. Once I get my flip cam (soon!), I will be able to do more since I will have more freedom. But until then I go into each vlog without any real honest idea about what I am going to talk about. Any ideas? Haha

I love vlogging everyday, and has not yet become a chore or a job. It's still wonderfully fun. But I seem to not have ideas like I would like.

Any ideas?

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Why the Internet is Awesome

Hey everyone! It's been awhile! But I am really trying to start blogging. I vlog enough, I need to actually BLOG more. Alright, so here that goes.

I have been on the internet now for about ten years. My family first got the internet about 12 years ago, but I wasn't allowed on it without permission and guidance until I was about 13. The internet and I have come to develop a pretty intimate relationship. When I was about 14 I started Role Playing on Yahoo chat and started developing online friendships. Though back then no one ever learned much about you. It's still the same in the Role Play world, but now they're held on forums not in chats. Then at 16 I started to write fan fiction, both of these were involved in the Anime world (Role Play was for Pokemon -- which actually evolved into Star Wars [not anime] and fan fiction started as Yu-Gi-Oh and evolved into all the other anime I liked). Fan Fiction, again wasn't something that you let anyone know much about you. that is until I met Chip, but I have told this story enough so I am not getting into that.

I really have developed awesome friendships with people over the internet and am starting to wonder if this is the way of the future. That the best way to meet people is over the internet. I never would have thought that before. Now I am meeting people in Youtube, and seeing them face to face really makes me feel good about "knowing" them. Before there was always that question about if they really were who they were. And Youtube takes that question away.

The internet is a wonderful place...

(and Anime is a wonderful thing -- sorry having a marathon of a short series that I really like as I type this...so good)

Friday, January 1, 2010

And so it Begins...2010

Today marks the first day of a new year. Every year I think about my life and what I would like to improve. I never make honest to God resolutions...or at least I haven't in many years. But I use this time as a time of rebirth. So, over the course of this year I plan to do the following:

~Join a gym and really focus on getting into shape and losing the remaining 45 pounds I have left to lose
~Get my Mouth Remodel started (pulling eight teeth [including wisdom teeth], braces on my molars to fill in big gaps for 8 months, switch to Invisilign)
~Jump start my acting career (get headshots and voice demo done as well as get a theatre agent and a voice over agent)
~Make enough money to get a computer, camera, and a decent editing system for AG Productions
~Get my Facts of Fandom Documentary underway (c) 2009 AG Productions.
~Have the equivalence of a full time job to qualify for a Provincial working visa in Vancouver, BC Canada and have that job be something more career oriented than meaningless job
~Become Partner on Youtube specifically so I can claim my own copyright for the videos I make (I need YOUR help to do it...subscribe, watch, rate, comment www.youtube.com/agactinggirl)
~Finish writing one of my books and start the publication system
~Figure out why I have acne so bad and try and get rid of the acne scars left over
~Get my websites up and running (brittanyhalaas.com and AGProductions.com)

I am sure there are more things that I would like to accomplish in a year. But this should be enough for now...I may add more later, but for now, I think I am set for a year's worth of goals!

Off to make my first Vlog for my year long adventure of vlogging everyday!

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

AG's Soapbox Episode 3 - Taxes

I am what is known as "fiscally conservative." Which basically means that I like smaller government which means less government spending. This would then mean that taxes would be lowered. I think taxes are nearly worthless in today's world. Most households can't afford the taxes that exist today. The government is teaching people that it is okay to be lazy by paying for things that people "can't afford" when the government has been in debt since World War II and can't afford half of what it pays for.

I know what it is like to not have money. My family has been in severe debt for many years. But we have never turned to the government for help. We keep trying our hardest to get ourselves out of this debt. But with today's administration, I fear that we will not withstand this much longer at all. My mother already has to pay well over 40% of her $52,000 a year salary to Uncle Sam and dad has to pay just around 40% of his $45,000. With the bills that we have to pay, which include but are not limited to, mortgage, animals, food, luxury, and credit cards, we are in trouble of not being afford to actually live. Which should not be the case. If my parents got more of their salaries a year, we would have a lot easier time to get out of this debt of ours.

President Obama has set forth this health care system, which on paper, looks fantastic. And if you are wealthy and not in debt, it works. This is where the democratic party is hypocritical. They claim to be for the little people, when it is quite obvious that most of their stances on taxes and health care make it impossible for the middle class and lower to actually exist. It is still less expensive than that of Hilary Clinton's proposal, but that doesn't make it any less dangerous to the people who don't have a lot of extra money laying around.

Mr. Obama has claimed that this health care system would not be paid for through taxes. If you really believe that, then you need to do your research and be less ignorant. You need to ask yourself, "where will this money come from?" As I stated above, the United States is trillions of dollars in debt and has been since World War II. Former President Clinton lied when he said we were in a surplus, and any work we had at going into the black in his administration was leftover from the late former President Reagan (A fiscal conservative). We actually owe a ton of money to China. So, with a country that has had no money for sixty some odd years and owes a lot of money to other countries, where would the government get the money to pay for this new health care system? The answer is simple, taxes. President Obama is just like every politician out there, he will lie to get what he wants. He doesn't have to worry about the downfall of the poor people, because he will never be that person.

As it stands, Uncle Sam attacks you when you least expect it. Let's take for example the very popular television show The Price is Right. Did you know that most of those prizes have to be sold in order to pay the taxes on them? No, most people don't get that. When someone wins a BRAND NEW CAR on that show, they will owe about HALF of what it is worth in order to actually keep it. It is known as a "prize tax." So, you win a grand prize anywhere, be it The Price is Right or at a casino, anything worth over $600 HAS to be paid into taxes. Almost everyone ends up selling their BRAND NEW CAR that they won on national television because they can't actually afford the taxes on it. I find this absolutely ridiculous, the liberal side of the government makes it impossible to have a private life of any kind. At least when you have a socialistic point of view.

Now, I do understand that there are a lot of benefits to socialism. On paper, it looks amazing, almost a Utopian society. However, Utopia is not attainable. There is always the issue of the human in every form of government. Which makes every form of government flawed, which is why you need to roll with the punches and go with what makes sense at each point in time.

My personal belief is that the government should only pay for the following:
  • Police
  • Fire fighters
  • Army
  • Boarder Control
  • Roads
  • Basic transporation
  • TEMPORARY homeless shelters/safe havens for victims of abuse
That is pretty much it. I also waver back and forth on the last one. Those can actually be self funded, but because of my advocacy against domestic violence, that can be thrown in there to make sure there is a safe place for those people to go.

I also think it's ridiculous for the State of Minnesota (more specifically the city of Minneapolis) to pay for the Target field when Baseball is a multi-million dollar a year industry. They should be paying for it themselves and leave the tax payers alone. I think the new stadium is fine and (as a Twins fan) exciting, but why should they not have to pay a dime as an industry and pay their players, on average, $3 MILLION dollars a year. Why not take away some of that money from each player and pay for the new stadium?

Just another soapbox of me trying to get stuff off of my chest. Argue any point you wish to, as long as you stay respectful I will respond and we can have an adult debate.

Friday, August 28, 2009

Losing Weight

My senior year of high school I weighed 225 pounds and was a size 20. I refused to wear a 20 though...I would squeeze myself into an 18 and have trouble breathing because of it.

I was actually quite athletic as a child. I biked everyday and I practiced Karate. Though I did eat very unhealthily back then as well. So when I was a kid, there was a nice mix of muscle and fat, which translated to me being thicker.

However, when I gave up on Karate, my muscles were slowly replaced by fat and I just grew and grew and grew. Mainly because I really did not eat well, and I only continued to eat worse and worse. As a matter of fact, I became addicted to food. I would eat, even when I wasn't hungry. I would gather joy and relaxation with just the act of eating. Much like people become addicted to the act of smoking, so was the same with me and my eating habits. I would crave eating...for the act of chewing and swallowing...for the taste that would thrill me...for the need to consume food. I had become a chronic liar and hid my obsessive and addictive eating by replacing anything that I overate so that my mother would never know; and she never did...I never realized how bad this was until I looked in the mirror and saw what I had done to myself.

My eating disorder didn't end there, I was also an emotional eater, like most women are. And there were many reasons for me to dunk food down my throat...from an abusive father to being who was embarrassed to have me as a child and being terrorized (not just bullied) at school. I was told by nearly everyone in my life how worthless I was and how I will never be loved because I am too fat and ugly to ever be cared about. I slipped into depression so deep that I had no desire to ever leave my room. And I didn't...until I had to...like having to go to school...otherwise, I stayed in my room. I began to develop online relationships with people...people who couldn't see me...I could be myself and be cared for because they couldn't see how fat and ugly I was.

I had already been low enough to want to kill myself, and to be honest, I was that low again. But after attempting suicide, I realized that I could never do that again. There is so much pain in the act of suicide and that is what you are trying to escape. I just decided to hide and be alone so no one could ever hurt me.

The other sad thing about this time was that I was the one that everyone turned to on a bad day, I was the one that had to be strong for everyone else. There was no one in my life that ever cared enough to listen to what I was going through. I had to put a smile on my face everyday and had to act like everything was alright. Even to this day I have trouble ever letting anyone know I am upset about something, because I am the strong one...I am the one that is supposed to help and never let anyone else have pain.

My wake up call from this prison I had created for myself in my own body was when I simply walked up stairs and was winded upon getting to the top of the flight of stairs. It only took that one time realizing it to know that something needed to change. It was my senior year and I vowed to change the way I lived my life...I vowed to lose weight and to be healthy.

The question was, where do I start? The answer was quite simple, I was fit once, and I could become fit again. I contacted my old Karate teacher (who I had stayed in contact with off and on) and signed back up for Karate. This time I vowed to stay with it. With just that alone I lost my first 20 pounds.

After I graduated high school I decided to start anew. That had been the plan all along, I had grown out my hair with the intention of cutting it and donating what I had cut to Locks of Love. The cutting of hair is always symbolic of taking control of your own life and that is what I intended to do. I had let food control my life for long enough, and it was time for me to be in control of my own life. I knew that it would be a hard road, and I was right.

I decided to cut out all sodas and even Peanut Butter, which were two things that had become the biggest manifestations of my food addiction. Soda was not really that hard to say goodbye to, I had slowly been doing that throughout my senior year anyway. However, Peanut Butter proved to be practically impossible. I knew going cold turkey would ruin any chance I had of deleting it from my diet completely, so I did it slowly...I had to control myself and I did. I managed to get myself to a point were I only had Peanut Butter once a week, and eventually got it to not eating it until I really needed it. I had gone a full three months without eating it and finally decided to let myself eat just one more jar...so I got myself a small jar and enjoyed my reward. Only about twenty minutes later I started to feel sick. I realized that a lot of my gas issues in high school had to do with eating peanut butter. This was three years ago, and I haven't had peanut butter since.

Over the four years it's been since I graduated high school, I have slowly changed my eating habits and managed to eat healthy...for the most part...and have lost over 75 pounds. I still have a ways to go. I am about 30-35 pounds away from my goal weight. I am still bang on course since my goal was to be done losing weight when I graduated college. Which will be this December. I have ventured into many different styles of Martial Arts and am biking again.

The journey may not be over, but I never overlook the fact that I have quite the success story. I am not only just working on my weight and physical health, but I am also working on my mental health. I am not so depressed anymore, but just like my weight, I have a little ways to go before I am not depressed anymore. Though, do not be mistaken, the loss of weight does not help your self esteem, as a matter of fact, there are days where it quite hinders your self esteem. Losing weight has been the most emotional journey I have ever been on. Hopefully, upon my College graduation, I can start anew again. This time be a truly happy person and be at the weight I want to be at.

I tell my story in the thought that perhaps someone will find this blog and read it. Perhaps be at the same place I was...or worse...and realize, there is still hope. There is always hope, that is one thing that I have managed to teach myself. Hope is the one thing that you can always hold onto.

Sunday, July 26, 2009

Lesson Learned

So today I went back up to St. Cloud to move the rest of the stuff out of my apartment and clean it up. I still need to make two more trips up there within a week...one to turn in my keys and another to work at my old job. Though, today I learned a couple of valuable lessons...

One, I never want to move again...no not because of the stress of moving...but because I grow attached to places...both times now seeing my homes empty...(Cedar Square and Sterling Heights) I burst into tears without reason...I hated it...I just want to be somewhere that I can just call home...so I am going to spend this year working at saving up to buy a house out in the LA area...So then I never have to move again...when and if I ever get married then he will just need to move in with me...not me in with him...I would prefer that anyway...I like to wear the pants in relationships.

Two, mom and I stumbled upon HOW to use the carpet cleaner...we had been doing it wrong for YEARS...and when I say years...I am talking at least TEN years...WOW...yeah...that caused a lot of laughter upon learning.

Three, my back can actually handle quite a bit...less then what I put it through...but I pushed it to a new limit that it actually liked! So perhaps my back is getting better! :-D

So, now that that is taken care of...I just need to focus on turning this


Into a fun studio apartment for my dog, cat, and I.

And just for fun...here's a picture of my dog :-)
So, that's that! Have a good night! I plan on sleeping VERY well tonight! :-D

Sunday, July 12, 2009

AG's Soapbox Episode 2 -- Ignorant Customers

Everyday upon my arrival at work, there is some dumbass complaining
about how we "treat" our dogs. "Why are they in cages?" "Why don't they
have beds?" "You never give them attention!"

Well bull too all of those. People don't see everything...they see
about 15 minutes (if that) out of an entire day at the Pet Center.

Now, here's my rebuttal on those three points.

"Why are they in cages?"

Where else are we supposed to put them? In fish tanks? Even if we tied
them up on leashes people would complain we are mistreating them. And
what most non-dog owners or dog owners that only have outside dogs
don't know is that crate training is the best way to potty train a
puppy. Where they are in a crate or in a room for most of their
puppyhood...and no I didn't learn that at work...I learned that from my
Golden Retriever book AND any source I looked at on the internet when I
was getting ready for Cosmo. The crate should honestly be only big
enough for the puppy to stand up and turn around. When you are home you
can let the puppy run around, but when you are not home or in bed, the
puppy should be in the crate. Look it up if you don't believe me. And
they aren't in the crates all the time...one Sunday morning Bailey and
I let the dogs, ALL the dogs, run around before we opened the
store...she played with them while I did dog papers. Other than that,
we do let them run around the store on their own free will...but the
issue with that is we have to watch them so they don't run out of the
store, or so someone doesn't steal the dog...so if it's busy, yeah they
don't get to run around.

"Why don't they have beds?"

Because anytime we give them a bed they poop on the bed and then people
complain about THAT. "You need to take better care of the dogs they are
sitting in poop!" So if there is nothing for them to poop on, the poop
will a lot of times fall through the grate so they aren't sitting in
dog poop. And no, they are not really "uncomfortable." What people fail
to realize is that dogs are animals...just like humans are
animals...but humans have conditioned themselves to make it so they
can't be comfortable unless they are in a 5,000 dollar bed and 1,000
thread count sheets. Dogs on the other hand are still in tuned to their
wild instincts and can be comfortable as long as they can sleep without
worrying about an enemy attacking. Dakota, my dog, was given beds
beyond beds in his 13 years of life...we bought EXPENSIVE beds and he
still prefers the cement (old room) or tile (linoleum in Breezy).

"You never give them any attention!"

Apparently, you have never seen me clean dog papers...I make it a game
with them a lot of the time. I play and I talk to them and I pet them
and I kiss them. When our dogs have colds and I am the one doing the
neb list (treatments for colds or for loose stools) I cuddle with them
and I make them feel safe. Bailey and Amber also pay attention to
them...I know they do...we three LOVE animals. Now I haven't met Meggan
(she just started) and not sure where Tena stands on all of this
stuff...but I know we all pay attention to them. For crying out loud
both Amber and Bailey fell in love with dogs enough they brought them
home forever...Tena and I have both wanted to...I love that
Pom/Bichon...(yes the girl who HATES little dogs loves a dog that
probably won't get much above 10 pounds).

So, yeah...I am tired of the ignorance of people. Actually think before speaking please...thanks!

(Note: I wrote this one on February 26th 2009)